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Dating After Divorce

 I never dreamed when I got married more than 30 years ago, that I would enter the dating world again.  I was married for 30 years when my divorce was finalized.  That means my last first date was more than 31 years ago.  How does one start dating again?

When my Ex told me he was leaving and filing for divorce, I had a daughter ask me just a few weeks later if I would ever remarry.  The thought was not on my mind.  And my answer was, "I just want to enjoy my freedom for a little while before I worry about that".  

Then that same daughter started talking to me about dating sites.  I should look into them.  I brushed her off.  But little by little I started looking into them.  I even made a profile without saying anything to anyone.  I kept it to myself but started corresponding to men.  I was not interested but I also just wanted to see what was out there.  I had been asked out several times.  But I always laughed it off.  I simply was not ready.  

I still am not sure if I am ready.  Heck, the divorce has only been finalized for 3 1/2 months.  But I have known about the divorce 10 months now.  I have big fears.  Not something I want to talk about on here yet.  But I have been getting to a place where I want to get to know people and make connections.  Not necessarily for anything.  Let me just say it again, loud and clear..... I am not looking for anything.  If I find something, that is one thing.  But I am not looking.  I am content with still finding me through all this process.  But having people to talk to is nice.  

One of the biggest things everyone talks about is my hair.  The guys love my hair.  If only they knew.....it is not real.  Would they still want to get to know me?  When I had cancer a couple years ago, I lost a lot of hair.  Not because I did Chemo.  Because I didn't.  I lost it because my meds were so far out of whack.  And they still are.  I have hair, but it is so thin and I have places where you can see my scalp.  I am self conscious of this.  I feel so much more confident in my wigs.  I am a different person and I carry myself differently.  I don't ever keep this a secret.  I tell everyone very openly that I wear wigs anytime I get a compliment.  That is, until I started up on the Dating Apps.  If there ends up being someone, then I will tell that person when the time is right.  Until then, the guys simply do not need to know.  

As I mentioned, I have been turning people down as they ask me out.  But I have this one guy that really wants to take me out and get to know me.  And I wouldn't mind getting to know him either.  But, how do I do a first date for that?  He then said he would wait as long as I needed to be ready to go out.  In the mean time, I have another guy who has been asking me out.  He told me he would be in town and would like to take me to lunch.  Without even thinking, I said OK.  In my mind, It was a good pre date to the date I really wanted to go on without that one I really wanted to be my very first date after divorce.  Hope that made sense.  

What does one wear to a lunch date?  What does one wear to an evening date?  I had this same daughter come over and helped me find clothes, shoes and even what wig to wear.  

I'm so nervous about dating!  Tell me it will get easier as time goes on! 

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